Supporting the people behind the person in recovery
When someone you love is struggling with addiction, it’s difficult to know what you’re supposed to do.
You might have spent months worrying about their drinking or drug use, checking they’re safe, arguing about things you never used to argue about, or trying to work out whether helping them is actually making things worse.
Even when they agree to treatment, those feelings don’t automatically disappear. You may feel relieved that they’re getting help while still carrying a lot of anger, exhaustion or uncertainty about what happens next.
At Abbington House, we recognise that families need support too. Our family support sessions give relatives somewhere to talk about their experiences, understand addiction and learn how to look after themselves while supporting someone else’s recovery.
Our weekly online family group takes place every Thursday at 7pm, facilitated by Michael Williams (Mikey), our Clinical Lead. Families can continue attending after their loved one has completed residential treatment.
Addiction can change the way a family functions. Conversations become difficult. Trust gets damaged. One person might take responsibility for everything while someone else withdraws because they don’t know what to say anymore.
Sometimes families become so used to managing the consequences of addiction that they don’t realise how much their own lives have changed.
Treatment gives the person experiencing addiction an opportunity to work on their recovery. Family support gives the people around them an opportunity to understand what’s happened and consider what they need going forward.
That might involve learning how to communicate without every conversation becoming an argument, recognising behaviours that have developed over time, or understanding the difference between supporting someone and taking responsibility for their recovery.
It can also mean accepting that your own wellbeing matters, regardless of how your loved one’s treatment progresses.
Joining a group where people are talking about addiction and family relationships can feel uncomfortable, particularly if you’ve spent a long time keeping what’s happening at home to yourself.
You might worry about being judged for decisions you’ve made or feel unsure about discussing personal experiences with people you haven’t met.
Our sessions are facilitated by Mikey, who helps guide discussions and provides information about addiction, recovery and family relationships.
You’ll have opportunities to hear from other relatives, ask questions and talk about the difficulties you’ve experienced.
Participants are expected to respect one another’s privacy and avoid sharing personal information outside the group. As with any group involving several people, complete confidentiality between participants cannot be guaranteed.
The aim is to provide a respectful environment where families can speak openly and learn from one another.
When someone enters residential rehab, their family may experience a mixture of relief and uncertainty.
For the first time in a while, you might know that your loved one is somewhere they're receiving treatment and support. But you may also be wondering what happens during their stay, how things will change when they return home and what your own role should be.
Our family support group gives you an opportunity to begin working through those questions while your loved one is receiving treatment. You can learn more about addiction, discuss the impact it's had on your relationships and start thinking about the changes that might be helpful when residential treatment ends.
Family involvement is handled with respect for each person's privacy. Attending a family group doesn't automatically mean you'll receive information about your loved one's individual treatment, medication or progress.
We only share confidential treatment information with appropriate consent or where another lawful basis allows us to do so.
One of the biggest adjustments for families can happen when their loved one returns home.
During residential treatment, there’s a daily structure and a team providing support. At home, everyone has to find their way back into ordinary routines, often while trying to manage expectations about what recovery should look like.
A partner might expect trust to return immediately. A parent might still feel the need to check where their adult child is going. Someone in early recovery might want more independence than their family feels comfortable giving them.
These situations can create tension, even when everyone wants things to work.
Family support gives relatives somewhere to discuss these difficulties and consider different ways of responding.
Sessions can help families work on communication, establish boundaries and understand that rebuilding relationships often takes time.
It’s also an opportunity to talk about your own needs, particularly if you’ve spent a long time putting them aside.
Yes. Family members can continue attending our weekly support group after their loved one has completed treatment at Abbington House.
We understand that the challenges families experience don’t necessarily end when someone leaves residential rehab.
There may be difficult conversations to have, relationships to rebuild or periods when you’re worried about how your loved one is coping.
Our Thursday evening group remains available to families who would like continued support. Relatives can also continue attending beyond the first year if they feel the sessions are helpful.
Some people may want regular contact with the group, while others find it useful to return when something particular comes up.
The opportunity to stay connected means families don’t have to lose that source of support when residential treatment finishes.
You might be reading this because someone you love is struggling with addiction but hasn’t agreed to get help.
Perhaps you’ve tried speaking to them, offered to arrange treatment or reached a point where you don’t know what else to do.
You don’t have to wait until someone enters rehab to ask questions about addiction or find out what support might be available to you.
Our team can discuss your concerns, explain how family support works and help you understand what options may be appropriate.
We’ll also explain which services are available directly through Abbington House and where other organisations may be better placed to help.
We respect each person’s confidentiality, including when someone is considering treatment but hasn’t yet become a resident.
It’s easy for your own needs to become less important when you’re worried about someone else’s drinking or drug use.
You might cancel plans because you’re concerned about leaving them alone, spend evenings checking whether they’re safe or avoid talking to friends because you’re tired of explaining what’s happening. Over time, these adjustments can become normal.
Family support gives you an opportunity to think about how addiction has affected your life and what you’d like to change.
That might involve establishing boundaries you’ve struggled to maintain, finding ways to manage worry or recognising that you’re allowed to enjoy your own life while someone you care about works on their recovery.
You can love someone, want them to get better and still need things to change in your relationship.
Those feelings can exist together, and they’re worth talking about.
