Can I Make My Loved One Go to Rehab?

When someone you care about is in active addiction, you’ll probably find yourself asking the same desperate question over and over: “Can I make my loved one go to rehab?”

You’ve probably tried everything else. You’ve begged, reasoned, pleaded and given them ultimatums, but they refuse help and you’re exhausted. You’re frightened, you’re not sure what the next step is, only that something has to change.

At Abbington House, we understand that this moment is about more than logistics; it’s about heartbreak. It’s about watching someone you love lose themselves to addiction while feeling completely helpless. This guide is here to offer clear guidance about your options.

Why This Question Comes Up So Often

You may be wondering why your loved one doesn’t want help when the problem seems so obvious. To you, it’s clear: their drinking or drug use is hurting them, and probably hurting you too. Why wouldn’t they want to change that?

Addiction changes the brain in ways that make denial and resistance incredibly common, even in the face of serious consequences. What looks like stubbornness or selfishness from the outside is often a symptom of the condition itself. But knowing that doesn’t make it easier to watch.

The desire to take control, to do something, is natural. You want to protect them, to stop the damage. You want to bring them back to the person you know they are underneath it all.

So naturally you’ll be asking “Can’t I just force them into rehab?

You Can’t Force Someone Into Recovery

In most situations, the answer is no, at least not in the way you might hope. In the UK, someone generally can’t be admitted to rehab against their will unless they meet very specific criteria under the Mental Health Act, for example, if they are deemed an immediate risk to themselves or others and require sectioning for psychiatric care. Even then, this doesn’t guarantee placement in a rehab setting, and addiction alone is rarely grounds for detention.

More importantly, rehab isn’t a magic solution if the person isn’t ready. Recovery takes willingness. If someone doesn’t want help, or doesn’t yet believe they have a problem, no facility, however excellent, can force them to engage with the process.

That might sound disheartening, but you’re not powerless. There are things you can do to shift the situation, not through force, but through clarity, boundaries, and support.

What You Can Do Instead

Even if you can’t force your loved one into treatment, you can influence the dynamic.

Sometimes, what helps someone become willing isn’t pressure; it’s change. Change in how you respond, in what you will and won’t accept.

That might look like:

• Setting boundaries without making threats.

• Stopping enabling behaviours, like covering up missed work or bailing them out financially.

• Telling the truth, even if it’s painful to hear: “I can’t keep living like this. I love you, but I need things to change.”

• Offering support with conditions: “I will go with you to an assessment. I will help you pack if you choose rehab. But I can’t keep pretending this is okay.”

This doesn’t mean cutting someone off. It means making a clear, loving decision to stop supporting the addiction, and start protecting your own wellbeing.

When Intervention Is an Option

While you can’t drag someone into recovery, there are situations where intervention can open the door to treatment (when done properly).

Intervention doesn’t have to mean confrontation.
In fact, aggressive or accusatory interventions usually backfire. There are gentler, more collaborative approaches that can plant a seed or create some willingness, especially when guided by someone experienced in interventions.

Here’s what intervention can look like:

• A structured conversation with a therapist, addiction specialist or interventionist present.

• A family meeting where each person expresses how the addiction is affecting them, without blame or shame.

• A one-on-one talk at a calm moment, where you share your concerns and ask them to consider help, even just for an assessment.

Sometimes people say no. Sometimes they storm out. But often, the moment stays with them. Many people who later accept treatment recall someone close to them saying something that finally got through.

If you’re considering an intervention, speak to a professional first. At Abbington House, we’re happy to talk to loved ones, even if the person in question isn’t ready yet. We can guide you through your options, help you plan your approach, or simply listen.

When They’re Not Ready But You Are

They might not be ready to take that step, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get help.

You don’t have to wait for someone to hit “rock bottom” before taking care of yourself. If your life is being affected by their drinking, drug use, or behaviour – whether emotionally, financially, mentally or physically, you are allowed to get support.

That might mean:

• Speaking to a therapist who understands addiction dynamics.

• Attending family support groups like Al-Anon or Families Anonymous.

• Setting boundaries that protect your own peace.

• Learning how addiction works, and why it makes people act the way they do.

At Abbington House, we offer guidance not just for the person seeking treatment, but for those who love them too. Whether or not they choose to come here, you’re welcome to reach out and talk through what’s happening.

What Might Help Them Say Yes Eventually

It’s easy to feel defeated when someone you care about keeps refusing help. But people do change their minds, and sometimes the process is a bit slower.

You never know which moment might matter. It might be the quiet conversation, the difficult boundary or the night they can’t remember. What matters are your words, your love, your consistency.

So what might help shift someone toward accepting treatment?

• Consistency from loved ones: calm, repeated offers of support if they’re ready for help.

• Natural consequences: sometimes a missed job, a broken relationship or a scary health issue is the catalyst.

• Hearing from someone who’s been through it: many people are more open to speaking with someone in recovery than a clinician or family member.

• A low-pressure first step: offering to book a free assessment, or even just look at a website together, can feel less overwhelming than a packed bag and a taxi waiting outside.

Sometimes they need to know the door is open. And that it will stay open, without you having to stay in the chaos.

You’re Not Powerless

You can’t make someone want recovery, but you can stop protecting the addiction. You can protect yourself and get the support you need whilst holding space for change without waiting in silence for it.

You’re not failing because you can’t “fix it.” Showing up for that person matters more than you probably realise.

At Abbington House, we speak to families all the time who feel like they’ve run out of options. You haven’t. If you want to talk through what’s happening, or find out how we might be able to help, you don’t need to wait for your loved one to be ready.

We’re here to support you, too.

Thinking About Next Steps?

If you’re worried about someone but not sure what to do, you’re welcome to get in touch, even just for a conversation. We can talk you through the options, explain how treatment works, and help you decide on the next right step.

Call us or message us privately and we’ll listen to your concerns and help you explore the options available to you and your loved one.